About me.

👋 Hey there, I'm Steve Schlafman.

Just about everyone calls me Schlaf (pronounced shh-laugh).

As an ICF-certified executive coach, I guide high performers through transitions, share insights as a writer and podcaster, and share knowledge as a teacher. Presently, I lead Downshift, a coaching company dedicated to helping high performers slow down through turbulence and transition. I also write "Where the Road Bends," a newsletter that delves into personal evolutions and life's pivotal shifts. When I'm not coaching and creating, I tinker on side projects such as The Ultimate Annual Review.

Outside of work, I love to spend time with my family, meditate, read, ride my bike in the mountains, cook, watch the Patriots, listen to music, build complex Lego sets, and get lost in nature.

I split my time between Manhattan and the Catskills.

⛰️My Transition Journey

“Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life; everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone's task is unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.”
—Viktor Frankl

Hi, I’m Steve, the Founder of Downshift.

In January 2017, at 37, I made Partner at the multi-billion-dollar VC firm I had poured myself into for four years.

Despite the money, power, and status that VC provided, the job and lifestyle left me burnt out, and unfulfilled. My ego craved these benefits but my soul yearned for more. I realized those alone weren’t enough to bring me happiness and purpose in life. I could no longer run around New York City and pack my schedule with back-to-back-to-back meetings. I was spent physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Deep down inside, I craved a new vocation that was more aligned with what I valued, who I was becoming, and what energized me.

Several months later, I walked into my weekly partner meeting and resigned without a grand plan. When they asked what I was going to do, I told them, “I think I’m going to take a sabbatical and become a coach.”

That conversation kicked off a multi-year transition where I wandered in the wilderness without a compass or a map.

I was initially drawn to coaching because I’ve always loved helping people, and my wife, who founded The Sill, struggled in the early days. I had an unfiltered view into the life and mind of an entrepreneur. I saw her wins, losses, and everything in between. This situation helped me gain a deeper appreciation for entrepreneurs and the inner battles they wage and the sacrifices they make to realize their visions. Through supporting my wife and dozens of founders, I discovered that I could invest in their development as leaders and humans instead of their companies. This energized me and filled me up. I also realized that I crave and value authentic relationships and conversations geared toward helping people evolve.

I loved coaching, and it was immediately clear that I had made the right decision. Still, the process was often disjointed and disorienting, while I held on tightly to what was familiar—including old roles, patterns, beliefs, and identities—and didn’t have a clear vision for where I was heading. I was lost. Something had to change because my approach was no longer working.

I realized that the fast-paced lifestyle and mentality that had propelled me forward for several decades left me burnt out and were no longer serving me. The faster I moved, the more disconnected I became from my true self. I needed to stop trying to push forward, and instead change gears entirely. Once I began to slow down, create space, and connect more deeply with myself, the path forward became clear.

Through my own journey, I discovered the profound need for high performers to learn the art of deceleration during life’s most important moments. I saw that transitions were not just about changing jobs or roles, but about fundamentally reassessing and rebulding one's life and career.

I also discovered immense fulfillment in helping other high performers navigate their own transitions and transformations. This realization led me to pivot my executive coaching practice in 2022. This wasn't just a professional pivot; it was a deeply personal one. I understood firsthand the challenges and rewards of slowing down and reassessing one's path. It became time to help others do the same.

Downshift is the coaching company I wish I’d had access to in 2017. My goal is to guide high performers through their own transitions and transformations, helping them decelerate, reconnect with their true selves, and move forward with intention and purpose.

💼 Professional Experience

I’m an ICF-Certified Professional Coach. Since 2010, I have coached, advised, and invested in more than 100 founders and leaders in just about every sector and stage. I’ve received certifications in The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, Coaching for Transformation, Mental Health First Aid, and Tiny Habits. I'm also taken courses on Internal Family Systems (IFS), The Shadow, Nonviolent Communication (NVC), Men's Emotional Leadership (MELT), Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and the Enneagram.

Prior to becoming a coach, I was a Partner and Principal at top Venture Capital funds in New York City, including Primary Venture Partners, Lerer Hippeau Ventures, and RRE Ventures. Before investing, I held a variety of operating roles at Microsoft, The New England Patriots, Stickybits / Turntable.fm, and Massive Inc. I graduated Summa Cum Laude from Northeastern University with a degree in Business Administration.

📅 My Timeline

Here are the moments, milestones, and accomplishments from my life that have shaped who I have become.